Beyoncé recently released the Platinum Edition of her 2013 bombshell Beyoncé. The reissue includes four remixes of previously released songs, two new songs and videos from her tours in the past year. In one of the new songs, “7/11,” Yon-cé raps about drinking, dancing and gambling over a trap beat. The accompanying home-movie-style video opens with the singer dancing alone on a balcony dressed with a sweatshirt with the word “Kale” on it, and evolves to include more dancers and even more wacky apparel.
Seeing this video was especially hard for me, as I was wait-listed at Kale University. Eventually rejected, I was forced to pursue a different degree at a smaller school, but I’ve always wondered what my life would’ve been like if I had worked harder in high school. I could’ve majored in Cross-Fit or Finding Ways of Working Your Paleo Diet into Conversation or Pilates Equipment Design, or maybe, just maybe, I could’ve enrolled in Kale University’s most prestigious program: The Gwyneth Paltrow College of Green Smoothie Blending.